is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
