omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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