omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just found puke in my bra..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
