For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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