I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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