This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
