Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What a dumb baby whore.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
