Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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