I'm drive I can fine osifer
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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