Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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