god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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