What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
