She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My Sexting was not on an AP level
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
