i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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