I want to stick my p in your. b.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
