she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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