Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i love accidental penises.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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