That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i barfeds in our rink
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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