i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
