Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
