You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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