Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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