whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
