It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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