I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
