We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
