Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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