Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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