I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
