I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
