i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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