im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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