At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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