You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i will never coherently bang her
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
