It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
