You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
