she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
