Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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