Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
