Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
