she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
