just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
