I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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