Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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