I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
