Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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