Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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