why do cheetos always look like penises
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
