Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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