I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
