I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
