Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
