Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
