the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
