yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
