He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
