i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
