I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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