I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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