Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
