guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
there is glitter all over my balls
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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