if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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